When Later Becomes Too Late: Procrastination and the Forgotten Elder
By Fabian Stennett
We all do it.
Push things off.
“I’ll call her tomorrow.”
“I’ll stop by next week.”
“I’ll check on that soon.”
These small delays feel harmless—until they’re not.
When procrastination tiptoes into the realm of elder care, it’s no longer just about being “too busy” or “too tired.” It becomes something deeper, more dangerous—a quiet form of neglect, cloaked in good intentions and busy schedules.
Let’s talk about the human cost of waiting too long.
The Clock Doesn’t Wait
Elders don’t always raise their hands when they need help.
Pride gets in the way.
Fear of being a burden.
The desire to cling to dignity for just a little while longer.
Meanwhile, their world can shrink:
Pain left untreated.
Food untouched.
Medicine unremembered.
The house growing more silent with each passing day.
A postponed visit could mean missing the subtle signs of memory loss. A delayed appointment might mean catching a health issue one month too late. In elder care, procrastination doesn’t just slow progress—it speeds up decline.
Isolation: The Slow Disappearance
Loneliness in old age is a quiet thief.
It steals joy, confidence, connection—one unreturned call at a time.
Procrastination doesn’t always look like neglect. Sometimes it just looks like… silence.
Elders often won’t say, “I’m lonely.”
They’ll say,
“I know you’re busy.”
Or
“I don’t want to bother you.”
The more we delay, the more they retreat. And one day, we look up and realize the person we meant to visit, meant to help, meant to check on—isn’t there anymore, or isn’t the same.
Home as a Hazard
A forgotten rug.
A dim stairwell.
A slippery floor.
These are not metaphors—they’re actual dangers.
The elder’s home, once a sanctuary, can become a trap. And all it takes is one fall, one stumble, one second of imbalance to set off a chain reaction: hospital stays, surgery, rehab, and often, a permanent loss of independence.
All because something small was left for “later.”
Money, Memory, and Missteps
Finances are another danger zone.
Bills pile up.
Scammers call.
Passwords get forgotten.
Bank accounts drift into disarray.
By the time someone steps in, it may take months—or legal help—to untangle the mess. The elder may feel embarrassed, defeated, or worse: exploited. It didn’t have to get this far. But we waited. We hesitated. We procrastinated.
Why We Delay
Let’s be honest: elder care can be overwhelming.
We avoid the hard conversations because we’re not ready to see our strong mother, our sharp-witted grandfather, needing help. We cling to the illusion that they’re “still fine,” that there’s still time.
We delay because we’re scared. Because we don’t know where to start. Because life is full, and aging is hard—on them and on us.
But acknowledging this doesn’t excuse inaction. It makes it more urgent.
Breaking the Cycle of “Later”
- Start with a conversation. Ask how they’re really doing. Listen without rushing to fix.
- Pick one small thing. Schedule a doctor’s visit. Clear the hallway. Deliver a hot meal.
- Share the care. You don’t have to do it all—just something. And involve others.
- Notice the clues. A fridge full of expired food. Forgotten medications. A stack of unopened mail. These are the whispers before the crisis.
- Lead with compassion, not guilt. Guilt paralyzes. Compassion moves us.
What’s At Stake
This isn’t about guilt-tripping or preaching. It’s about remembering that time is a luxury not everyone has.
Especially not our elders.
When we procrastinate, we gamble with time—their time.
Time they can’t afford to lose.
Time they’d rather spend living, not waiting.
So let’s not wait.
Let’s show up.
Let’s pay attention.
Let’s do the small things, now—before they become the big regrets later.
Because sometimes, love isn’t loud.
Sometimes, it looks like showing up when it would’ve been easier to stay distracted.
And sometimes, it just means picking up the phone—today.
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